I didn't mean to fall in love
by IssyxIntroverted
Summary: Kyle has had feelings for Cartman for a while now. One day, he struggles to hide his feelings, and Kenny finds out. Kyle x Cartman. Kyman aka Cartyle. This fanfiction contains somewhat coarse language and BL or Boy's Love. NO SMUT! Canon ages. The kids are still 8-10 in this fanfic.
1. Hide it

Hello! This is a Kyman aka Cartyle fanfiction. Kyle x Cartman from South Park. KYLE'S POV. This is my first fanfiction. There will be no smut! Their ages are canon. The kids are all 8-10 years old. I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK! Please review.

Every day of school is so stressful. Some days I just want to stay home, but there's no way my parents will let me. They want me to get the best grades, and the least absences. But that's not why school days are so stressful. I have to be around him. Who is he? The person that no one would ever expect that I'm in love with. Cartman. That's right. I, Kyle Broflovski, am in love with Eric Theodore Cartman. I don't know why God would make me love the person who hates me more than anyone else, but I can't help it. I tried, I really did. But I can't stop loving Cartman. Why him of all people?! And to top it all off, I have to hide my feelings for him, and the fact that I'm gay.

I sigh as I walk to the bus stop with my hands in my coat pockets. Today is especially cold, even for a winter day. I walk to the bus stop. None of my friends are here yet because I'm early. As I wait for the bus, I kick the snow, hands still in my pockets. Suddenly, I hear footsteps to my left. I look over and see Cartman. Oh no... I don't want to be alone with him. It's hard enough as it is to hide my feelings for him. But when we're all alone, it's even harder. I look away so he doesn't catch me staring at him. Cartman then stands a little too close for comfort. Don't start blushing! Don't blush!

"Oh hey Kahl." says Cartman.

"H-hey Cartman." I say, still not looking at him.

Oh God, why isn't he saying anything? As the awkward silence lingers, I start blushing. Damn it! Why does he have so stand so close to me?! I sneak a glance at Cartman, and I realize that he looks... sad... staring at the ground. I should ask him what's wrong. Maybe if I'm nice to him, he won't hate me... and I might have a shot with him. Ugh, who am I kidding? He'll hate me no matter what. I should still ask him what's wrong. As I stop blushing, I ask Cartman what's wrong.

"Hey Cartman, is... everything okay?"

Cartman looks at me. His eyes widen a little and he sounds nervous. "What? Of course! Mind your own business, you nosy jew!" He then started looking mad.

This is my chance! Maybe I could try being nice to him and show him that he can trust me. It's a stretch, but it's worth a shot.

"Well, you can always talk to me if something's wrong." I say. "We are friends."

"I already said I'm fine, goddamnit! Now leave me alone, asshole!"

Now I'm pissed. I'm nice to him and this is what I get. I guess it just goes to show that Cartman will never like me. "Fine, fuck you!" I say, angrily. I look at the ground, defeated. Great, now I'm getting teary-eyed. I'm really not in the mood for this. I quickly wipe the tears away before he notices. Unfortunately, he already did, and starts laughing.

"*laughing* Are you crying? Aww, did I hurt your feelings?" Cartman laughs harder.

Angrily, I say "You wish, fatass!" even though he was the one who made me cry.

"*laughing* Then what's wrong? Are you gay-

"Hey guys!" Stan and Kenny interrupt.

It must have been super obvious that I was shocked over Cartman asking if I were gay, because Stan gave me a concerned look. "Dude, are you okay?" Stan says.

"What?" I say, then I look down. "Y-Yeah I'm... I'm fine."

"Okay...?"

As the bus shows up, I quickly enter the bus and sit down in the front to avoid further discussion. Holy shit that was awkward! Did I make my feelings for Cartman too obvious?! Oh no... does everyone know?! Why did Cartman ask if I were gay? Does he know? I look out the window in hopes that no one notices how anxious I look. I shut my eyes, and feel someone sit down next to me. I open my eyes and look to my right. It's Stan. Ugh, I just want to be alone!

"Dude, what's wrong? You're acting really strange." Stan says worried.

"I'll tell you later." I say sadly. I couldn't keep telling him that everything was okay. It was too obvious that something was wrong. I'll just have to come up with some kind of excuse. I can't tell Stan that I like Cartman. "Uh, okay." Stan says. The rest of the ride to school is completely silent, at least for Stan and I. I notice that Cartman isn't being his usual loud self. I look behind me slightly and notice that he and Kenny aren't talking. Cartman is completely silent, and it looks like something's on his mind as well. The rest of the ride is complete and utter silence between the guys and I, as I expected. Kenny is talking to Bebe, but that's about it. As we arrive at school, I go straight to class. Mr. Garrison's lessons are almost never interesting, but I always pay attention. But today, I just can't. I need a break. I almost completely blew my cover and Cartman probably knows I'm in love with him! I bet he hates me even more now... And to top it all off, I have to come up with an excuse to tell Stan, and I hate lying to him. I look at Cartman while Mr. Garrison gives some kind of lecture. He looks so handsome. Why does someone as evil as Cartman have such innocent eyes? It looks like Cartman is drawing something. It looks like a person. It's hard to tell who it is from this angle. He just glanced at me. Huh. Now he looks... nervous? Aw, now he's hiding his drawing with his arm. He's looking back at me now. He looks really weirded out. Why-

"Kyle Broflovski!" Mr. Garrison shouted.

Why is Mr. Garrison- wait. OH MY GOD, HAVE I BEEN STARING AT CARTMAN THIS WHOLE TIME?! I quickly look at Mr. Garrison, absolutely mortified. I'm blushing now, fantastic! "Kyle, stop looking at Eric and answer my question!" Mr. Garrison says angrily.

"What? I-I wasn't-"

"Who wrote The Declaration of Independence?"

I wasn't paying attention in class, but luckily, I already knew this. "Thomas Jefferson?"

"Huh, I guess you were paying attention."

Mr Garrison continues teaching, and Stan asks me "Why were you staring at Cartman?" Stan looked so confused. Ugh, I'm so stupid! I don't want to lie, but I have to. Unfortunately, I'm really bad at lying. Hopefully this works. "I wasn't staring at Cartman! I was just staring in his direction zoned out!" My lie must have been convincing enough, because it looks like be bought it. "Oh okay." Stan says, convinced. He turns around and starts paying attention to Mr. Garisson. He turns around again, and says "Oh, by the way, Kenny wrote this note for you." "Thanks." I say. Why did Kenny write me a note? Oh no, he probably knows! I unfold the note and it says: "Why were you staring at Cartman?" I had to lie again. I wrote down: "I wasn't staring at him. I was staring in his direction. I was zoned out." I gave the note back to Stan, hoping desperately that Kenny buys it. A minute passes by, and Stan gives the note back to me. It reads: "Uh huh, sure." Damn it, he didn't buy it, did he? Shit. The rest of class I try to pay attention and try to forget the anxiety I was feeling right now. Kenny knows I like Cartman, doesn't he? Is he gonna tell other people? I have to talk to him about it. No, if I do that, I'd be confessing to Kenny that I like Cartman. He doesn't have any proof that I have feelings for Cartman, does he? Or is the way I was acting towards Cartman today enough evidence?

To be continued...

I hope you enjoyed! See you in the next chapter! ^_^


	2. Confession

**Hello readers! I noticed that I made some spelling mistakes in my last chapter, and maybe I made more grammatical errors, and I'm sorry. I replaced the chapter with a fixed version. I'll try my best not to let that happen again. Also, sorry for taking so long! I've been sick.**

 **Thank you guys. :3**

As soon as the bell rings, everyone leaves class before Mr. Garrison dismisses us. I head to recess with Stan as we talk about Terrance and Phillip. Suddenly Kenny and Cartman walk up to us. My heart starts beating faster. Did Kenny tell Cartman that I'm in love with him?! _Fuck._ "Kyle, can I talk to you alone?" Kenny asks. Now I'm worried. What does he want? "Uh, sure." I say nervously. Kenny and I walk to the opposite side of the playground. As we walk, I see how confused Stan and Cartman look, then they start talking. We stop when we get to the corner of the fence.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I ask, desperately trying to keep my cool.

"You like Cartman, don't you?"

My heart starts beating faster and I get even more nervous. "What? No I-"

"How upset you were after being alone with Cartman, the way you stared at him for 20 minutes, the way you blushed afterwards..."

I start blushing. There's no point in hiding it now. He knows... I sigh. This is the worst day of my life. "Fine. I have a crush on Cartman, okay? Can we just forget about this, _please_?" I look at the ground. "I knew it! And no, I'm not forgetting about this. I don't know why you like Cartman, because he's a self-centered fatass asshole... but I think he likes you too; And I'm gonna make you two hook up soon. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone you like him." says Kenny. WHAT?! There's no way Cartman likes me back! But... Kenny figured out _my_ feelings for Cartman. But that's because I made it way too obvious! And how is he gonna make us hook up? "No way! Cartman hates me!" I say. "Cartman was sneaking glances at you in class too. He was drawing you in class." says Kenny. ...Does he really like me? Kenny didn't specify what kind of drawing of me it was. No way. Cartman hates me. Just earlier today he called me an asshole for asking him if he's okay.

"Let's go meet up with the others." says Kenny.

"O-Okay."

As Kenny and I started walking back to Stan and Cartman, Stan runs up to me. "Hey, dude! What were you two talking about?" Kenny proceeds to walk back to Cartman, so Stan and I talk. What am I supposed to tell Stan? There's no way I can tell Stan that I like Cartman. He'll think I'm insane. "Look, Stan. I really don't want to talk about it." I say. "...Does it have something to do with what was bothering you before school?" Stan asks. "Yes." I say. "Come on Kyle, we're super best friends! You can tell me anything." says Stan. I can't tell him. But if I lie, I'll feel bad. Wait- I have an idea. Instead of telling Stan that I like Cartman, I'll tell him something that no one else knows. It's not a lie, but it's not exactly what was making me upset today.

"The truth is, I'm gay." I confess.

"What?! Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's fine."

"Thanks." Stan smiles at me, so I smile back. "How come you never told me?"

"I thought maybe you wouldn't like me anymore..." This wasn't a lie. This always bothered me.

"No way dude! We'll always be best friends." My smile widens.

"Thank you, Stan."

"So, is there a boy you like?" My smile disappears.

"Haven't I told you enough?"

"*awkward laugh* Yeah, I guess so."

Suddenly, the bell rings. He gives me another warm smile, and Stan and I head over to class. We all sit in our assigned desks, and Mr. Garrison "teaches" us science. "Okay children, today I'm assigning you all a really difficult science project that's due in one week." Everyone including me groans loudly. "TIMMEH! :(" Timmy shouts. "Yeah, science projects suck balls." Cartman says, folding his arms. "Well, if you keep complaining, then I'll make the project due in three days!" Our teacher says angrily. "No!" Everyone says. "That's what I thought. Now, about the project. This science project consists of writing a 3-5 page essay about evolution. You write whether or not you think evolution is a load of bullcrap, and why. And since this class is full of a bunch of retards, you'll be in groups of two. You children get to decide who you want to be partners with. Okay, go work on your projects now." Our teacher tells us. Everyone immediately chooses their partners, so I do the same. "Hey Stan-" I attempt to say before getting cut of by Kenny. "Sorry Kyle, I'm already partners with him." He gives me a smirk. I frown and roll my eyes. I know what Kenny's trying to do. He's trying to make me partners with fatass. _No way._ Cartman is so lazy when it comes to projects, and he would NEVER just do the project for my sake. "Sorry dude, Kenny asked to be partners first." Stan says. I ignore him. No need to respond. I just look for someone else to be my partner. Why don't I ask Craig? I walk over to him and ask.

"Hey Craig, wanna be partners?" I ask.

"No way, Tweek is my partner."

I frown. I look around and realize that everyone already has a partner and is working... except for Cartman. Damn it. I guess I have no choice. I walk over to him.

"Hey. Wanna be partners?" I ask unamused.

"Hmmm... Let me see... No!" _Goddamnit Cartman._

"Seriously? You and I are the only ones who don't have partners! You can't say no!"

"But I just did."

"Ugh! I don't have time for this! Just do this with me, okay?"

"Fine, but you better not screw this up, jew."

I roll my eyes. "Let's just get started. We can both agree that evolution isn't true, right?"

"What do you mean? I believe in evolution."

"You're joking."

"No I'm not." Cartman snickers.

We argue a bit, but we eventually get on the same page. I move my desk next to his and we get to work. He's actually doing surprisingly well. I guess he's not stupid when he tries. Unfortunately though, he almost never tries in school... but today is an exception. He's still being his usual lazy self, but I can tell that he's trying a little. As we discuss our project, I find myself smiling. My anxiety is starting to fade away. From across the classroom, I catch Kenny smirking at me again, and my face flushes. _Nevermind._ I look back angrily at Kenny and he starts laughing. I get even more mad. "What's your problem, jew? Do you have sand in your vagina?" The fatass asks. "No, I don't have sand in my vagina!" I reply irritated. We continue working like we did before. I decided to stop glancing at Kenny, because I know he's just gonna be a dick. I feel his gaze on me though... he's watching me.

The bell rings.

I'm thankful it's over, but I'm not at the same time. I actually enjoyed myself (aside from Kenny staring at me). Huh. Maybe this isn't the worst day of my life after all.

 **Thank you for reading! X3**

 **Please review! I want to improve my writing as much as possible. See you in the next chapter! :D**


	3. Truth or dare

**Here's chapter 3! Before you read, I just wanted to say how much I love South Park. It has really helped me cope with my hectic life. And writing about it is so fun! Anyway, here's the chapter. It's quite a bit longer than the others. Also, there's a lot more Kyman in it *wink wink*. Please review! =3**

Lunch isn't how I expected it to be. Everyone's acting relatively normal, as if all the weird shit earlier didn't happen. I think I'm... happy? This is the most confusing day ever. Am I dreaming? "Kyle... Kyle?... Kyle!" Stan yells. Back to reality.

"Huh? Sorry, wasn't paying attention." I explain.

"I noticed. Anyway, Kenny's inviting us over to play video video games after school. Wanna come?"

"I'm not going to Kenny's, his house sucks ass!" Cartman states even though no one asked. Kenny shouts a muffled 'fuck you.' "No one's asking you, fatass!" Stan replies. "I hate you guys..." Cartman mumbles.

"So?" My friend looks at me. What should I say? It sounds like fatass isn't going, which is a plus, but I have to work on the project today!

"Uh, sorry. I can't. I really need to work on this project, so-"

"Aw, come on! Kenny just got Call of Duty: Black Ops 4! Why don't you just work on the project tomorrow?" Kenny adds a muffled "Yeah!" Man... I _really_ want to play that game. Screw it. I'll just work twice as much tomorrow. "Okay, sure."

"Nice!"

"And Cartman's coming too!" Kenny adds.

...

Silence fills the room (well, only for me, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman), and we all stare at Kenny. I already know what he's up to. Is it too late to cancel? Wait, yes it is! If I don't go to Kenny's house just because I know Cartman will be there, that would be really suspicious. Oh well.. I look over at Cartman on the opposite side of me and realize that he's been pretty quiet during lunch today. He looks kind of sad. He looks so beautiful when he's sad though. Is that messed up? I see humanity in his eyes, which is really rare. Well, there's nothing I can do about this. I can't help him, or ask him what's wrong. Cartman never opens up. Even if he did, I doubt I'd believe him. Every time he gets sentimental with me, it ends up being a trick or something!

We end up going to Kenny's house after school. _All of us._ Even Cartman. I put a lot of time an effort into my homework, so I'm the last one to arrive. I knock on the door. Kenny opens the door and lets me in. "It's about time." Cartman says. I glance at him angrily. "Let's play Call of Duty, guys." says Kenny. We all sit on Kenny's couch. It's hard, holey, and kind of sticky. Ew... Kenny turns on the TV and we play the game for about 20 minutes. Then, Kenny's mom interrupts us.

"Kenny, it's your brother's turn to watch TV."

"But mom, I'm playing Call of Duty with my friends!" Kenny replies.

"Kenny, you need to share the TV!"

"Aww..." He turns to us. "Sorry guys, we'll just have to do something else."

"Aw, weak!" Cartman says disappointed.

"I have an idea! Lets play truth or dare!" Everyone looks at Kenny. I don't like where this is going... Stan and I look at each other. He knows I don't want to play. "Sure, why not?" Stan replies. I guess not. Man, some friend he is. No... he's just dense. "Okay, let's go outside." Kenny responds. We walk outside. I don't want to do this. I start getting anxiety. What is Kenny makes me confess to Cartman?! What if he makes me _kiss_ him? We're in Kenny's backyard. I try to get us to play something else.

"Hey, why don't we do something else? I don't really like truth or dare."

"Don't be a pussy, jew!" says fatass.

"Fuck you, fatass!"

I wish Cartman and I didn't fight like this. I wish we could at least be friends... "Okay, I'll go first." says Kenny. "Why do you get to go first?!" Cartman snaps. "Because it was my idea to play truth or dare!" Cartman mumbled something I couldn't make out. "Okay, Kyle, truth or dare?" Damn it! What do I do? If I say truth, then I might have to confess my feelings for Cartman! But if I say dare... I might have to... do something to him... I blush slightly just thinking about it. I guess at least with a dare, Cartman wouldn't know for sure that I like him. "Dare." I start getting nervous. "Hmm... I dare you to...

...

eat the snow we just stepped in!" Kenny commands. WHAT?! Eat... snow? Ugh! "Dude! Sick! I'm not eating the snow we _just_ stepped in!" Cartman laughs at me. "Dude, you have to." says Stan. I sigh. "Fine." I walk over to the snow we stepped on. I scoop up a handful and eat it, my face scrunched up. I can't taste much. I do taste a little dirt though, yuck. My lips are cold now. Behind me, I hear Cartman laughing. Aggravated, I turn around to face him. I walk up to him and say: "Truth or dare, fatass?!" Cartman gives me an angry look and answers. "Truth." My gaze lifts to the sky, as I ponder what I should do. What should I ask him? Kenny whispers into my ear. "Ask him who he likes." "No!" I whisper back. I honestly don't want to know. I know he doesn't like me. So, what should- Wait, I know! "What do you regret the most?" I ask. Cartman's eyes widen a little. "I regret to inform you, Kahl, that I don't regret anything." He says. I don't believe it. Surely he regrets _something,_ right? But honestly, he is a huge asshole... "Don't lie, Cartman!" I raise my voice. "Come on Cartman, even _you_ must regret something!" Stan tells him. "Ay, what's that supposed to mean?!" Cartman turns to look at me again. "Ugh, fine! I regret..." His face gets slightly red. "I... I regret a lot of things. A _lot_ of things... I-I don't even know what I regret the most." Me, Stan, and Kenny's jaws all drop. Stan and I exchange concerned looks.

"Dude," Stan begins. "are you alright?"

"It's not your turn." Cartman responds. "Kenny, truth or dare?"

"Dare." says Kenny.

"I dare you to fuck off." He then walks off. _What the hell just happened?!_ I'm pretty sure all of us are wondering that right now.

"What the hell did I do?" The three of us look at each other confused. We're silent for about 10 seconds, but it feels like an eternity. Stan hesitantly starts talking first. "What the he-" Kenny starts running after Cartman. "What the hell just happened?" I start getting anxiety. Cartman _regrets_ something? But what? That's the real question.

"No idea." I respond.

"I never thought Cartman could regret something."

"Neither did I, dude."

A few moments later, Kenny and Cartman walk back to us outside. My eyes light up as I see Cartman. He looks troubled... "What happened?" Stan asks. "None of your goddamn business!" Great, more awkward silence. I stare at Cartman. He catches me and I look away blushing. Damn it! I _need_ to stop making my feelings for him so obvious! After a few seconds, Kenny breaks the painful silence. "Cartman, truth or dare?" He glances at me and smirks. I blush slightly. Oh no! I know what he's about to do. "Aw, come on! When am I going to get picked?" Stan asks disappointed. "Hey, it's still my turn! Me daring you to fuck off didn't count!" Cartman states.

"Fine." Kenny says. _Oh thank God._

"Okay.. Stan, truth or dare?"

"Finally.." Stan mumbles. "Truth."

"Have you ever kissed Wendy?"

Stan looks at the ground slightly ashamed. "No."

"*Laughs hysterically* You know, I just realized something. Wendy kissed me more times than she kissed you! *laughs again*"

"Shut up, fatass!" Stan turns to Kenny, still looking mad. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." says Kenny.

"I dare you to kick Cartman's ass."

"Okay."

"What?!" Cartman asks. Kenny walks over to Cartman and starts hitting him (not too hard). "Kenny, no! Bad Kenny!" Stan and I laugh. This is hilarious. Cartman is so cute when he's mad. "You think this is funny, jew?" Cartman asks angrily. "Yes." I respond, smiling. Kenny stops hitting and asks: "Truth or dare, Cartman?" Uh oh. I'm already getting concerned. Don't say dare, don't say dare! "Dare." says Cartman. _Goddamnit!_ "I dare you to kiss Kyle." I knew it! I can't believe you, Kenny... I'm NOT kissing Cartman! Unless of course... he wanted to... With that, I start blushing excessively. Oh God, I probably look like a tomato right now. Cartman's eyes go wide and he starts blushing as well. I glance at Stan for a second and he looks just as shocked I am. "I'm not kissing the jew! I'm not gay!" Cartman says defensively. "Yeah, I don't want to kiss that fatass!" Kenny gives me a look that says 'sure you don't.' I get even more embarrassed. "You have to do it, Kyle." Stan says. "B-But-" I attempt to say before getting cut off. "Go ahead, Cartman! I dared you!" Kenny says impatiently. "No! I'm not gay!" Cartman replies. I really don't have a choice, do I? To be honest, having him kiss me would be really nice, but only if he wanted to. And he definitely doesn't.

"Can we just get this over with?" I ask Cartman.

"What, do you _want_ to do this? Wow, you really are gay."

Wait, what? Did Kenny- no. He said he wouldn't tell anyone. "Believe me, fatass. You're the last person I'd want to kiss me. But it's a dare, so just do it! And if you weren't gay, then kissing me wouldn't matter. With the way you're acting, I'd say _you're_ the one who's gay!"

Now Cartman was really mad. "I'm not gay, you stupid kike! I just don't want to kiss you because I hate you!"

"Hey! Don't call me that! Just- just stop being such a pussy, you-"

"Shut up!"

Contrary to the way he spoke, Cartman grabbed me by both of my wrists and kissed my lips softly and gently. We both blush again. He pulls away slowly, not making eye contact with me. "Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here." I hear Stan say. Cartman and I both stare at the ground, embarrassed. "*Snickers* What did I tell you, Kyle?" Kenny asks. "Shut up." I reply.

...

"I- uh... I think I'm gonna go now." I say. "Yeah, uh, me too." says Cartman. Before anyone could respond, I dash through Kenny's back door and leave. As I head towards my house, I can't help but think about the kiss. It was amazing. He wasn't trying to dominate me or hurt me, it was just a kiss. But Cartman didn't look like he enjoyed it though. But then again, he's really manipulative, so maybe he did. Maybe... I have a shot with him? Thank you, Kenny? I guess? I open the door to my house. My mom greets me. "Hi bubbe, did you have fun at your friend's house?" I'm too embarrassed to respond. I quickly run up the stairs. "Kyle!" I go to my room, lay on my bed, and smile. This day was insane. Working on the project with Cartman tomorrow is gonna be really awkward. Ugh. Anyway, I don't even know how to _describe_ this day. It was sad, embarrassing, stressful, and amazing at the same time. Cartman kissed me! I close my eyes. Is this real life?

 **Thanks for reading, everyone! I wrote a whole chapter in one day! Pretty cool, huh? ;P I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you in the next chapter. :D Don't forget to review, please.**


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